What to do?

Before us lies choices in life. I hate choices. I don't make decisions easily, and when I DO make them, most are mistakes!! Argh!

So, do we keep up this horrendous fight for survival? Things are bad! We could move and start over somewhere. That means having the courage to leave my father (my mother passed away 4 years ago), leaving the cemetery where Mom is buried, and starting over. Really, I have no ties other than Dad to this area. I can start over and it wouldn't affect me. But the kids...would they be ok? Chances are...yes. We'd move to NC, and that would take us closer to a family they, and I, have never had a chance to get to know. It's Mom's family, and to be honest, being there is like being with a piece of Mom, and I would love to do it.

That would mean the entire family's survival would fall on me. Joe could be a sahd, and get the kids off to school, etc. But can I live with that weight? I don't think so. I want Joe to work. I just don't know what to do any more.

This economy is killing us. I am pissed that those who should have the money to spend can't spend it, and that makes it worse for those who need jobs from them. I don't know how to support my husband, and his business is dead. He needs to work. We need him to work. But he's kind of emasculated at this point.

We've been through enough! I was reading the book of Job last night and 'got' that praising him during the storms is important. I just am tired of the rain. We've lost Mom, the boys, and now our way of life too. Really? Do we deserve this?!