I HAVE two sons that can only exist online or with my husband and kids. I go back to work on Monday, and it's there that I have to pretend they don't exist. My 'friends' are much happier when I don't talk about them get sad, so I'll find that smile I plastered on while I was working at Disney and continue my professional life.
Inside, I die every day. It's not that I want to pretend they are still here, but I want to be able to say out loud "I wonder what Jonah would have done. Would Marshall have played baseball?". Instead, I'll listen as friends drone ON and ON about crap that really is not even important (really, I don't care about your mani/pedis. I don't get them, consider them a waste of money and time...I don't care that you spent $200 on a $15 haircut!!). But, as long as they think I'm happy, they leave me alone and forget trying to save me.
This country SUCKS when it comes to grief. A week after Mom died I was expected to be "over it". (ppsssssssssst..it's been 4 years, and it hurts as bad today as it did then). I got a little longer with my first son, but with Jonah. HA!!
Meh. I hate going back to work after time off. It stirs up too much crap.
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