Death has been a part of my life for a few years now. I have learned that death is one of society's last taboos. We all do it; but we don't talk about it. Just weird. I'd like to take you all back to that day in 2005 when we lost Mom.
August 10, 2005. Perhaps to you it was just another day,
but for us our life was going to change in every possible way.
I suppose the best way to start is at the beginning instead of the end
so you can understand why this poem's only rattled around my head.
Words seem so inadequate to describe the process we all went through
as we watched her die -- it was over, the answers she finally knew.
Mom's cancer was my nightmare, it woke me up at night
years before she had it; I just knew the bug would bite.
The diagnosis came in July 2003; it'd be really hard to beat.
She'd give it a try but the end she knew it'd finally be.
First they gave her surgery and removed some teeth, half her tongue and part of her jaw.
You should have seen what I saw; the twinkle was actually gone.
She chose darker glasses so no one could see the pain she was going through
all in an effort to make us feel better about the end as near it drew.
I'll never forget the day I walked into the hospice center.
The nurse looked sad; my father graven. The tunnel she'd finally enter.
I called the other two; their absence had to be the reason she hung on --
you should have seen the effort it took to breathe...every single breath was a battle to be won.
They finally came in and around her we gathered
to sing her favorite hymns and over her talk to God in solemn prayer.
"Amazing Grace" "Rock of Ages" and "In the Garden" were sung
as we prayed the doxology for His countenance on her to shine upon.
Her fingertips and little toes were gray
It was just so sad to see how her red fingertips glowed against the blackness of death.
It was 9:55, the day had just begun
but her battle was won.
She turned her beautiful head and looked right at Dad as that final breath she drew
a sign and symbol of the years of joy and strife they'd been through.
She was there; it wasn't cancer...we'd seen their intimacy.
We were there as John and Teresa said "In heaven together we'd be".
My Mom had died...OH MY GOD! My baby gave a flip
The last three years had been something of a really bad acid trip.
G-tube feedings, then a J tube; clearing out her throat.
Medicine that'd knock over a city did nothing to touch her tremendous pain
but I'd do anything to do all of that all over again.
We stepped out of the room as the nurses fixed that beautiful lady;
and prepared her so we could kiss her one last time.
The door was opened and we stepped in and in the bed she laid.
With sunflowers in her hand as she prepared for her last goodbye.
Her head was warm and clammy; her hands as cold as they ever were.
I looked at Dad with pity as his heart fell apart.
He thanked her for his children and all their 35 years. "Goodbye my little friend"
were the last words he spoke to her.
Looking back I see the gift she left for me; I was there as she died
and was able to thank her for my life.
But unless you've seen your mother die don't tell me how to be
because I knew the end would come in July 2003.
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