Twisted Turn of Events

I can’t really tell anyone how my life has changed…
Mom died and my father’s personality was rearranged.
I can’t imagine the pain of losing your partner of 35 years
but his actions have caused me more than my fair share of tears.

I used to be his little girl and I could do no wrong.
But now he doesn’t even smile at me… in this family I don’t belong.
He yells at me and snarls and growls and I just don’t understand
why I’ll never feel a parent’s gentle and loving hands.

I don’t keep house like my Mom...I work outside my home.
I wake up at 5 and have three kids to dress and feed and comb.
I work all day and come home to finish their daily lessons and chores…
because of my students I come home battered and more than a little sore.

I don’t cow tow to his wishes and demands because I just don’t see the need.
I have my own life and family to care for. But his hatred brings me to my knees.
My children see it every day and beg him not to use the “I hate Heather” voice…
we need to leave...but I promised Mom so now I have no choice.

It makes me sad to think that one day he held me tight
and would sing to us each day his choral “Good night”.
Maybe when I see him with my dear Mother again
he’ll understand that my heart also needs to mend.

And so, I wake up everyday and dread the other side of the door
because I know the night’s end brings yet another day more.
So if I seek male approval do not be surprised or shocked.
It’s because from my father’s heart I am forever blocked and locked.